When a man is sexually stimulated by sight, thought, or touch, the brain sends signals that relax the smooth muscles around the arteries that supply blood to the spongy and cavernous bodies. The veins draining the bodies can't keep up, resulting in swelling. As the swelling reaches the limit of the penile skin, the penis becomes firm. The pressure of the spongy and cavernous bodies against the skin partially closes the veins, helping to maintain the erection. Erection continues until the signals from the brain stop, but erections are not consistent; waking and waning are normal, even during intercourse.
Erection can occur throughout life, happening before birth and into the 90's in healthy men. Nocturnal erections occur during all male dreams (regardless of what the dream is about), unless the man has physical problems (this is the easiest way to determine if impotence is physical or emotional in nature). The so called "morning erection" is the result of being wakened during, or just after a dream; and it can be a very persistent erection. While a morning erection is not a sign of arousal, it's presents and the pleasurable sensations it can create may result in arousal.
Men have only very limited control over their erections. During puberty the young man is often embarrassed by erection in public settings, but he gradually becomes able to suppress erections when the stimulation is mild. Likewise, it is impossible to "will" an erection, although sexual thoughts can cause erection. During prolonged foreplay a man's erection may go away; this is normal, and is not a sign of lessening interest.
General health and physical exhaustion can affect erection; when very tired, a man may be able to have only a partial erection, but still be able to climax. Erection is lost in two stages; the initial stage is very quick, but usually leaves the penis firm enough to continue intercourse. The second stage is somewhat slower and is effected by a variety of things including age (which tends to speed it), and arousal level before climax, with higher (or longer) pre-climax arousal generally resulting in slower lose of erection
Although the head (or glands) of the penis is very sensitive to touch, touch alone does not bring about an erection. The epicenter responsible for such essential arousal is actually within the brain. Only after the brain receives visual, audio or mentally stimulating input will it transmit (via the central nervous system) instructions to the smooth muscles along the penis to relax. Specifically the release of nitric oxide in the corpora cavernosa relaxes the smooth muscles. At the same time, the artery to the penis widen to twice its diameter, increasing the blood flow sixteen-fold, and the veins which carry blood away from the penis are blocked. As a result, the two spongy-tissue chambers in the shaft of the penis fill with blood and the penis becomes firm. The corpora cavernosa, acting like a sponge, fill with blood. In fact, the corpora absorb up to eight times more blood than when the penis is flaccid. As your penis swells and lengthens, the filled corpora cavernosa press against the veins. The veins surrounding the chambers are squeezed almost completely shut by this pressure. The veins are unable to drain blood out of the penis and so the penis becomes rigid and erect. This condition normally keeps this erection firm enough for intercourse.
At this most basic level this function is considered to be normal if a man is able to maintain his erection sufficiently long to engage in satisfying intercourse and the subsequent ejaculation. The length of time a man might stay continuously erect can be on the average be about 30 - 45 minutes. Of course the duration of his erection vary greatly, in which case it may be a shorter or a great deal longer. After ejaculation or cessation of further stimulation to the penis itself or to the brain excess blood will be allowed to drain away, while the level of blood flow into the penis returns to normal. The penis once again becomes flaccid as it loses the built up pressure.
Erectile quality or intensity may depend on the nature in which the brain is stimulated. Acts as simple as kissing or "petting" are at times sufficiently arousing to bring about an erection. Viewing a sexually titillating movie or photographs will arouse most men to erection. Beyond this the particular nature of erotic images will have varying effects, as men tend to have a broad range of sexual tastes and desires. While some men may become highly aroused by mundane stimulation, others thrive on fetishes.
The male libido is often receptive to a great variety of stimulation. To consider a man sexually dysfunctional solely by measuring his arousal during intercourse, with a long term partner, is simply too limited as well as illogical. Certainly there are men who are not only fulfilled, but thrive in life-long monogamous relationships. This confirms the notion that there is great variation between the needs and sensibilities among men. It would be a mistake however to insist that all men can achieve the same purpose, blissfully maintaining a long-term relationship, which is both sexually and emotionally satisfying.
What if things aren't quite working that way. There are a number of conditions which may diminish or otherwise influence this process, these are known and considered under one very general catch all term: Erectile Dysfunction, which is technically defined as "the inability to achieve or maintain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse". This is one of the most common sexual ailments in men. Although erectile dysfunction can be primarily psychological in origin, for most men it's more likely a physical disorder, often with some psychological overlay. While some men assume that erectile failure is a natural part of the aging process and tolerate it; others find it devastating. Withdrawal from sexual intimacy because of fear of failure can damage relationships and have a profound effect on overall well being for the couple.
The Massachusetts Male Aging Study measured several health related variables in 1290 men aged 40 to 70 years. Erectile dysfunction was very common. Fifty two per cent of the men reported some degree of impotence-mild in 17.1%, moderate in 25.2%, and complete in 9.6%. Complete impotence was reported by 5% of men at 40 years of age and 15% at 70 years of age.
Over the past decades, the medical perspective on the causes of impotence has shifted. Common wisdom used to attribute almost all cases of impotence to psychological factors. Now investigators estimate that between 70% and 80% of impotence cases are caused by medical problems. It is often difficult to determine if the cause of erectile dysfunction is physical or psychological, or even some combination. The following may be helpful in understanding the difference.
· Psychological impotence tends to be abrupt and related to a recent situation. The invidual may be able to have an erection in some circumstances but not in others. The inability to experience or maintain an erection upon waking up in the morning suggests that the problem is physical rather than psychological.
· Physical impotence occurs gradually but continuously over a period of time. If impotence persists over a three-month period and is not due to a stressful event, drug use, alcohol, or medical conditions, the individual may needs to seek medical attention from a urologist specializing in impotence.
In virtually every case of impotence, there are emotional issues that can seriously affect the man's self-esteem and relationships, and may even cause or perpetuate erectile dysfunction. Many men tend to fault themselves for their impotence even if it is clearly caused by physical problems over which they have little control.
Anxiety has both emotional and physical consequences that can affect erectile function. It is among the most frequently cited contributors to psychological impotence. Anxiety over sexual performance is often referred to as performance anxiety and may provoke an intense fear of failure and self-doubt. It can sometimes set off a cycle of chronic impotence. In response to anxiety, the brain releases chemicals known as neurotransmitters that constrict the smooth muscles of the penis and its arteries. This constriction reduces the blood flow into and increases the blood flow out of the penis. Simple stress may even promote the release of brain chemicals that negatively affect potency in a similar way.
Depression is strongly associated with erectile dysfunction. In one study, 82% of men who reported moderate to severe erectile dysfunction also had symptoms of depression. Depression can certainly reduce sexual desire, but it is often not clear which condition came first.
Problems in Relationships often have a direct impact on sexual functioning. Partners of men with erectile dysfunction may feel rejected and resentful, particularly if the affected man does not confide his own anxieties or depression. Both partners commonly experience guilt for what they each perceive as a personal failure. Tension and anger frequently arise between people who are unable to discuss sexual or emotional issues with each other. It can be very difficult for the man to perform sexually when both partners harbor negative feelings.
Socioeconomic Issues like losing a job or having lower income or education increases the risk for impotence.
Smoking (particularly heavy) is frequently cited as a contributory factor in the development of impotence.
Alcohol has also been implicated in causing impotence. In small doses, alcohol releases inhibitions, but in doses larger than one drink, it can depress the central nervous system and impair sexual function.
Lack of Frequent Erections deprive the penis of oxygen-rich blood. Without daily erections, collagen production increases and eventually may form a tough tissue that interferes with blood flow. The spontaneous erection men experience while sleeping or awake may be a natural protection against this process.
The Physical causes of Erectile Dysfunction
Blockage of Blood Vessels The primary cause of oxygen deprivation is ischemia, the blockage of blood vessels. The same conditions that cause blockage in the blood vessels leading to heart problems may also contribute to erectile dysfunction. For example, when cholesterol and other factors are imbalanced, a fatty substance called plaque forms on artery walls. As the plaque builds up, the arterial walls slowly constrict, reducing blood flow. This process, known as arteriosclerosis, is the major contributor to the development of coronary heart disease.
Diabetes may contribute to as many as 40% of impotence cases . Between one third and one half of all diabetic men report some form of sexual difficulty.
High Blood Pressure Erectile dysfunction is more common and more severe in men with hypertension than it is in the general population. Many of the drugs used to treat hypertension are thought to cause impotence as a side effect; in these cases, it is reversible when the drugs are stopped.
Parkinson's Disease As a risk factor for impotence, Parkinson's disease (PD) is an under-appreciated problem. It is estimated that about one-third of men with PD experience impotence.
Multiple Sclerosis affects the central nervous system, also precipitates sexual dysfunction in as many as 78% of males suffering for MS.
Prostate Cancer and its Treatments can damage nerves needed for erectile function.
Radiation the side effects of radiation therapy include most of those of surgery, but the risks for impotence and incontinence are considerably lower.
Medications about a quarter of all cases of impotence can be attributed to medications. Many drugs pose a risk for erectile dysfunction. Among the drugs that are common causes of impotence are the following:
· Drugs used in chemotherapy.
· Many drugs taken for high blood pressure, particularly diuretics and beta blockers.
· Most drugs used for psychological disorders, including anti-anxiety drugs, anti-psychotic drugs, and antidepressants.
Physical Trauma, Stress or Injury
Injury : spinal cord injury and pelvic trauma, such as a pelvic fracture, can cause nerve damage that results in impotence.
Bicycling : studies have indicated that regular bicycling may pose a risk for erectile dysfunction by reducing blood flow to the penis.
Vasectomy : does not cause erectile dysfunction. When impotence occurs after this procedure, it is often in men whose female partners were unable to accept the operation.
Hormonal Abnormalities : Hypogonadism in men is a deficiency in male hormones, usually due to an abnormality in the testicles, which secrete these hormones. It affects 4 to 5 million men in the United States.
Low Testosterone Levels : only about 5% of men who see a physician about erectile dysfunction have low levels of testosterone, the primary male hormone. In general, lower testosterone levels appear to reduce sexual interest, not cause impotence. A 1999 study, however, suggests that testosterone levels are not an accurate reflection of sexual drive.
Lifestyle changes to help prevent Erectile Dysfunction
Maintain General Health : Because many cases of impotence are due to reduced blood flow from blocked arteries, it is important to maintain the same lifestyle habits as those who face an increased risk for heart disease.
Diet : Everyone should eat a diet rich in fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and fiber and low in saturated fats and sodium. Because erectile dysfunction is often related to circulation problems, diets that benefit the heart are especially important.
Exercise : A regular exercise program is extremely important. One study reported that older men who ran 40 miles a week boosted their testosterone levels by 25% compared to their inactive peers. Another study found that men who burned 200 calories or more a day in physical activity (which can be achieved by two miles of brisk walking) cut their risk of erectile dysfunction by half compared to men who did not exercise.
Limit Alcohol and Quitting Smoking : Men who drink alcohol should do so in moderation. Quitting smoking is essential.
Stay Sexually Active : Staying sexually active can help prevent impotence. Frequent erections stimulate blood flow to the penis. It may be helpful to note that erections are firmest during deep sleep right before waking up. Autumn is the time of the year when male hormone levels are highest and sexual activity is most frequent.
Kegel Exercises : The Kegel exercise is a simple exercise commonly used by people who have urinary incontinence and by pregnant women. It may also be helpful for men whose erectile dysfunction is caused by impaired blood circulation. The exercises consist of tightening and releasing the pelvic muscle that controls urination
Changing or Reducing Medications : If medications are causing impotence, the patient and physician should discuss alternatives or reduced dosages.
Psychotherapy and Behavioral Therapy Interpersonal, supportive, or behavioral therapy can be of help to a patient during all phases of the decision-making process regarding possible methods of treatment. Therapy may also ease the adjustment period after the initiation or completion of treatment. It is beneficial to have the partner involved in this process. The value of sex therapy is questionable. In one study, 12 out of 20 men whose dysfunction had a psychological basis and who were advised to enter a sex clinic resisted sex therapy out of embarrassment or because they felt it wouldn't help. Of the eight who entered therapy, only one actually achieved satisfactory sex.
Treatment with medication
Viagra : is now prescribed in over 90% of erectile dysfunction cases. Studies indicate that it helps 70% of patients achieve sexual function. In one 1999 study, overall male satisfaction was 65%. Not surprisingly, the best results occurred in men who had the fewest sexual problems before treatment, but even men with severe erectile dysfunction had a 41% satisfaction rate. A 2000 study of men who had responded well initially to sildenafil found that 96% of them were satisfied with the treatment after two to three years.
Administration and Effect Sildenafil is effective within 20 to 40 minutes. The drug works only when the man experiences some sexual arousal.
Mechanism of Actions Sildenafil was originally developed for heart disease, but was found to have a unique mechanism of action that targeted only factors in the penis. The drug blocks the enzyme phosphodiesterase. This action maintains persistent levels of cyclic GMP, a chemical that is produced in the penis during sexual arousal and which is the primary chemical that relaxes smooth muscles and increases blood flow.
Common Side Effects Common side effects include the following:
· Flushing.
· Muscle aches.
· Gastrointestinal distress.
· Headache.
· Nasal congestion.
Cialis : is a potent and highly-selective PDE5 inhibitor and may not affect other parts of the body, including the brain, heart, kidney and eyes. Clinical trials are reporting significant success rates in up to 88% of patients. It appears to take effect in 15 minutes and the effects last up to 24 hours. Improved results were reported in men suffering from erectile dysfunction of varying severity and causes. Common side effects include headache, muscle pain, stomach upset following meals, and back pain.
Vardenafil : is another PDE5 inhibitor currently being investigated. A small study concluded that it increased penile rigidity and tumescence. Further evaluation is warranted.
Testosterone Replacement Therapy
Testosterone replacement therapy may be effective in inducing puberty in adolescent boys with hypogonadism and may also be helpful for some adult patients with the condition. Some experts believe testosterone replacement therapy also may be helpful for older men whose testosterone levels are deficient.
Other procedures and devices
Vacuum Devices : Vacuum devices, or external management systems, are effective, safe, and simple to use for all forms of impotence except when severe scarring has occurred from Peyronie's disease.
Using the Device
· The man places the penis inside a plastic cylinder.
· A vacuum is created, which causes blood to flow into the penis, thereby creating an erection.
· A band is tightly secured around the base of the penis, which retains the erection, and the cylinder is removed.
· It takes about three to five minutes to produce an erection.
Drawback: Lack of spontaneity is this method's only major drawback. The erection involves only part of the penis shaft, and the process will certainly seem peculiar in the beginning. When these psychological obstacles are overcome, many couples find the result highly satisfactory.
Success rate: Studies have found that success with the vacuum device is equal to other methods. Between 56% and 67% of men using it reported the device to be effective. In one study of men who had used the vacuum device for many years, almost 79% reported improvement in their relationships with their sexual partners, and 83.5% said they had intercourse whenever they chose. Nevertheless, drop out rates are high. In one 1999 study, for example, the overall drop out rate was 65%.
Side effects: include blocked ejaculation and some discomfort during pumping and from use of the band. Minor bruising may occur, although infrequently. It is very important to use a medically approved pump.
Venous Flow Controllers (Cock rings) : Vacuumless devices that trap blood within the penis are also available. They are called venous flow controllers or simple constricting devices. These devices are typically rubber or silicone rings or tubes that are placed at the base of the erect penis to trap the erection. They can be used by men who can achieve erections but lose them easily. These devices should not be used for longer than 30 minutes or lack of oxygen can damage the penis.
Penile Implants
Three types of surgical implants are currently being used for the treatment of erectile dysfunction:
· A hydraulic implant consists of two cylinders placed within the erection chambers of the penis and a pump. The pump releases a saline solution into the chambers to cause an erection, and removes the solution to deflate the erection.
· A penile prosthesis is composed of two semi-rigid but bendable rods that are placed inside the erection chambers of the penis. The penis can then be manipulated to an erect or non-erect position.
· A third implant uses interlocking soft plastic blocks that can be inflated or deflated using a cable that passes through them.
Other alternative treatments
Many alternative agents are marketed for impotence. Very few have been studied and some can be harmful.
Yohimbine (Yocon, Yohimex) has been used as folk medicine for years. It appears to improve blood flow. Studies have been inconclusive about its benefits.
Aphrodisiacs Aphrodisiacs are substances that are supposed to increase sexual drive, performance, or desire. Some examples include the following:
· Viramax is a well-marketed product that contains Yohimbine and three herbal aphrodisiacs: Catuaba, Muira puama, and Maca. It has not been proven to be either effective or safe and interactions with medications are unknown.
· Foods that some people claim have aphrodisiacal qualities include chilies, chocolate, licorice, lard, scallops, oysters, olives, and anchovies. No evidence exists for these claims and certainly no one would ever advocate eating large amounts of such foods, which in cases such as licorice and lard, can be dangerous.
· Spanish fly, or cantharides, which is made from dried beetles, is the most widely-touted aphrodisiac and is particularly harmful. It irritates the urinary and genital tract and can cause infection, scarring, and burning of the mouth and throat. In some cases, it can be life threatening.
No one should try any aphrodisiac without consulting a physician.
Still other alternative remedies
In one small study, 78% of men who had impotence caused by impaired blood flow regained erections after taking ginkgo. More research is needed.
Ginseng root is a traditional Asian remedy for stimulating sexual function, although no studies have been conducted on its effectiveness.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
SACRED SPOT MASSAGE
The G-Spot or Sacred Spot of a man is his prostate gland. Tantric philosophy considers the G-Spot a man's emotional sex center. Massaging the man's prostate releases tremendous amounts of emotional and physical stress. Coupled with stimulation of his penis or "lingam", massaging his prostate can be extremely pleasurable and healing to the man. Since the most direct way to massage the man's Sacred Spot is through his anus, it takes time to adjust to being penetrated in this way. It is not for every man. The benefits are many and the pleasure can be very intense. For tantric partners, lovers or those otherwise genuinely comfortable with one another, massaging the sacred spot can be a powerful experience. Not only in terms of ecstatic pleasure for the "receiver", but in the sexual empowerment it bestows on the "giver".
The walnut sized prostate gland is located directly underneath the bladder, not far from the internal root of the penis (see diagram). As can be seen, the gland is in close proximity to the rectal wall, allowing for easy access through the anus.
Why is prostate massage pleasurable? There are number of reasons:
Ejaculation reflex sensation
No matter which method is used it is not possible to touch the prostate directly. The nearest indirect access is through the rectal wall, which means that there is still a membrane in the way. This is somewhat akin to the inhibiting sensitivity a glove. Despite this restriction the lobes of the prostrate are highly sensitive to pressure. An array of sensations may be produced by pressing, rubbing or by means of stroking the gland through the rectal wall. The most profound of these feelings is similar to that sublime sensation which is normally felt during ejaculation, as the prostate begins pumping semen.
Anal sensitivity
Along with the genital areas, the anus is connected to and interwoven with millions of delicately sensitive nerve endings, which can yield most pleasurable sensations.
Hidden penis
Unknown to most, over one third of the penis is buried inside the body. It is the base of the (hidden) penis which may be pressured in a similar manner as the prostate. The effect of stimulating all three can be awesome, if done in concert with genital stimulation. Still more overwhelming than the physiological effects is the psychological aspect of prostate massage, due to the unaccustomed nature of penetration of the receiver.
Psychological high
As powerful as physiological stimulation might be, it pales when compared to the immeasurably greater psychological or mental high. The very notion of the male placing himself into such a vulnerable position, results in a powerful mental rush, for both receiver as well giver. The willingness of the naturally controlling male to allow himself to placed in an unaccustomed submissive role, should be particularly cherished by the giver.
Preparation
As in any intimate activity, certain basic rules apply. The receiver should be meticulously clean. The giver should have available form fitting latex surgical gloves (not the loose fitting variety). It's desirable for a number of reasons to use gloves, of which the first and foremost benefit is to protect the delicate anal membranes from sharp fingernails and rough skin. Secondly, a well lubricated rubber surface will glide more easily than naked skin. Lubrication should be water based, such as K-Y jelly.
Taking a hot bath or shower prior to the massage is a good way to relax. While bathing the receiver will find it pleasurable to begin to fanaticize in anticipation of the experience to come.
Positions
Face to face (for greater intimacy)
While completely naked, the receiver should assume a seated position; his back reclined and supported by large firm pillows (at about a 45 - 65 degree angle). His knees pulled in the direction of his chest and somewhat angled outward. The resulting position should be both comfortable for the receiver, as well as allowing the giver unobstructed view and unfettered access to the anus and genitals of the receiver. The giver may sit cross legged, or kneel in front of the receiver.
As a way to relax the receiver, the giver may begin by massaging the receivers lower extremities, particularly the abdomen. Initially, the receiver may choose to relax by closing his eyes, but as the massage progresses it is of great importance that the receiver and giver maintain eye contact.
It will be up to the giver to decide when the receiver is sufficiently relaxed and aroused. At this time the giver should unobtrusively slip on a glove and to begin lubricating the receivers anus. The lubrication process should be lengthy and ceremonial. Beginning with circular motions, stroking the anal opening. The objective is to pleasure and relax the nervous rosebud.
The giver should "never" poke the anus with the tip of the finger, but to gently and firmly apply pressure with the pad of the finger. Continuously add lubrication; there can never be too much lubrication! When the anus is ready it will allow the finger to enter. All that is needed is time and patience.
Remarkably, when the moment comes the giver will notice that the finger will seem to be drawn into the anus. Once the finger has been allowed to enter it is best to be still allowing the anal sphincters the chance to become accustomed to the intrusion. It will not be a good idea for the giver to move their finger in and out of the anus. There should only be one reason for the giver to remove the finger, and this would be to add more lubrication.
The giver is now ready to seek out the prostate: this can easily accomplished by crooking the inserted finger upwards, and feeling for a "roundish" to oblong protrusion about 2 inches inside the rectum. Applying pressure to the prostate will provide a variety of sensations, the most desirable of which is the feeling of impending ejaculation. By applying more or less pressure to the gland, the giver will be able to control these sensations; even to the point of inhibiting the receiver from ejaculating. The ability to control ejaculation through prostate massage, allows for nearly unending stimulation of the receiver's genitals. The penis may be massaged by the giver, or by receiver himself, to a point of near ejaculation. Only to be kept on the brink by varying pressure on the prostate.
During the arousal cycle the giver may begin to rhythmically move the inserted finger partially in and out, so as to stimulate the rich and super sensitive nerve endings around the anus.
Eye contact is most desirable at the resolution phase of the experience, with the receiver and giver gazing into one another's eyes… various scenarios are now possible:
A. The giver will allow the receiver to masturbate himself to achieve ejaculating. All the while the giver will be verbally encouraging the receiver to the moment of climax.
B. The giver may masturbate the receiver's penis with one hand, while massaging the receivers anal opening or prostate with the other. Both giver and receiver should communicate intently, so as to allow the greatest pleasure for the receiver.
C. The receiver may desire for the giver to “milk” his prostate, without direct stimulation to the penis. To achieve this the giver will gently stroke each lobe, resulting in a gentle flow of semen and the emptying of the prostate through the erect or flaccid penis.
Facing "away" from the giver (a magnificent view for the giver)
In this position the receiver will be kneeling, knees apart, buttocks elevated, while the elbows are resting on a firm surface, such as a cushioned floor matt. This should be both a stable and comfortable position for the receiver.
The giver may kneel or sit spread legged behind the receiver, having easy access and a perfect view, of the receiver's anus. The giver will also be in a position to reach between the receivers legs to allow stimulation of the genitals.
From this point please follow the same procedure as in the face to face method.
The walnut sized prostate gland is located directly underneath the bladder, not far from the internal root of the penis (see diagram). As can be seen, the gland is in close proximity to the rectal wall, allowing for easy access through the anus.
Why is prostate massage pleasurable? There are number of reasons:
Ejaculation reflex sensation
No matter which method is used it is not possible to touch the prostate directly. The nearest indirect access is through the rectal wall, which means that there is still a membrane in the way. This is somewhat akin to the inhibiting sensitivity a glove. Despite this restriction the lobes of the prostrate are highly sensitive to pressure. An array of sensations may be produced by pressing, rubbing or by means of stroking the gland through the rectal wall. The most profound of these feelings is similar to that sublime sensation which is normally felt during ejaculation, as the prostate begins pumping semen.
Anal sensitivity
Along with the genital areas, the anus is connected to and interwoven with millions of delicately sensitive nerve endings, which can yield most pleasurable sensations.
Hidden penis
Unknown to most, over one third of the penis is buried inside the body. It is the base of the (hidden) penis which may be pressured in a similar manner as the prostate. The effect of stimulating all three can be awesome, if done in concert with genital stimulation. Still more overwhelming than the physiological effects is the psychological aspect of prostate massage, due to the unaccustomed nature of penetration of the receiver.
Psychological high
As powerful as physiological stimulation might be, it pales when compared to the immeasurably greater psychological or mental high. The very notion of the male placing himself into such a vulnerable position, results in a powerful mental rush, for both receiver as well giver. The willingness of the naturally controlling male to allow himself to placed in an unaccustomed submissive role, should be particularly cherished by the giver.
Preparation
As in any intimate activity, certain basic rules apply. The receiver should be meticulously clean. The giver should have available form fitting latex surgical gloves (not the loose fitting variety). It's desirable for a number of reasons to use gloves, of which the first and foremost benefit is to protect the delicate anal membranes from sharp fingernails and rough skin. Secondly, a well lubricated rubber surface will glide more easily than naked skin. Lubrication should be water based, such as K-Y jelly.
Taking a hot bath or shower prior to the massage is a good way to relax. While bathing the receiver will find it pleasurable to begin to fanaticize in anticipation of the experience to come.
Positions
Face to face (for greater intimacy)
While completely naked, the receiver should assume a seated position; his back reclined and supported by large firm pillows (at about a 45 - 65 degree angle). His knees pulled in the direction of his chest and somewhat angled outward. The resulting position should be both comfortable for the receiver, as well as allowing the giver unobstructed view and unfettered access to the anus and genitals of the receiver. The giver may sit cross legged, or kneel in front of the receiver.
As a way to relax the receiver, the giver may begin by massaging the receivers lower extremities, particularly the abdomen. Initially, the receiver may choose to relax by closing his eyes, but as the massage progresses it is of great importance that the receiver and giver maintain eye contact.
It will be up to the giver to decide when the receiver is sufficiently relaxed and aroused. At this time the giver should unobtrusively slip on a glove and to begin lubricating the receivers anus. The lubrication process should be lengthy and ceremonial. Beginning with circular motions, stroking the anal opening. The objective is to pleasure and relax the nervous rosebud.
The giver should "never" poke the anus with the tip of the finger, but to gently and firmly apply pressure with the pad of the finger. Continuously add lubrication; there can never be too much lubrication! When the anus is ready it will allow the finger to enter. All that is needed is time and patience.
Remarkably, when the moment comes the giver will notice that the finger will seem to be drawn into the anus. Once the finger has been allowed to enter it is best to be still allowing the anal sphincters the chance to become accustomed to the intrusion. It will not be a good idea for the giver to move their finger in and out of the anus. There should only be one reason for the giver to remove the finger, and this would be to add more lubrication.
The giver is now ready to seek out the prostate: this can easily accomplished by crooking the inserted finger upwards, and feeling for a "roundish" to oblong protrusion about 2 inches inside the rectum. Applying pressure to the prostate will provide a variety of sensations, the most desirable of which is the feeling of impending ejaculation. By applying more or less pressure to the gland, the giver will be able to control these sensations; even to the point of inhibiting the receiver from ejaculating. The ability to control ejaculation through prostate massage, allows for nearly unending stimulation of the receiver's genitals. The penis may be massaged by the giver, or by receiver himself, to a point of near ejaculation. Only to be kept on the brink by varying pressure on the prostate.
During the arousal cycle the giver may begin to rhythmically move the inserted finger partially in and out, so as to stimulate the rich and super sensitive nerve endings around the anus.
Eye contact is most desirable at the resolution phase of the experience, with the receiver and giver gazing into one another's eyes… various scenarios are now possible:
A. The giver will allow the receiver to masturbate himself to achieve ejaculating. All the while the giver will be verbally encouraging the receiver to the moment of climax.
B. The giver may masturbate the receiver's penis with one hand, while massaging the receivers anal opening or prostate with the other. Both giver and receiver should communicate intently, so as to allow the greatest pleasure for the receiver.
C. The receiver may desire for the giver to “milk” his prostate, without direct stimulation to the penis. To achieve this the giver will gently stroke each lobe, resulting in a gentle flow of semen and the emptying of the prostate through the erect or flaccid penis.
Facing "away" from the giver (a magnificent view for the giver)
In this position the receiver will be kneeling, knees apart, buttocks elevated, while the elbows are resting on a firm surface, such as a cushioned floor matt. This should be both a stable and comfortable position for the receiver.
The giver may kneel or sit spread legged behind the receiver, having easy access and a perfect view, of the receiver's anus. The giver will also be in a position to reach between the receivers legs to allow stimulation of the genitals.
From this point please follow the same procedure as in the face to face method.
TOUCHING MAN
At first blush it seems a simple proposition. Anyone can do it. However, the reality can be as different as “chopsticks” is to a Brahms concerto. A “stick figure” compared to a to a Vermeer painting.
The male body must first be understood before it may be played in the same manner as a virtuoso commands a musical instrument. Unfortunately most women have only marginal or little understanding of the male anatomy. The inevitable ineptitude often produces sour notes. [Conversely the same can be said about men and their level of appreciation for the female body, but this is another subject entirely.]
The problem stems from the fact that male and female genitalia are entirely different from one another. Understandably, the result is that it’s difficult for a woman to know how to best touch a man. Despite the fact that a woman’s clitoris is something of counterpart to a man’s penis, stimulating each to the pinnacle of arousal involves very different techniques. This circumstance results in a host of faulty assumptions, guesswork and experimentation. While some women may mimic the techniques they might have seen in “Blue” movies, others may attempt to refer to what they’ve read in a range of publications.
Ultimately the majority simply proceed by trial and error, in the hope that their partners response will serve as a guide. The drawback with this methodology is that many men are not able to effectively communicate their desires verbally or may be embarrassed to make use of “show & tell". Quite a few men may not even be aware of the most effective techniques themselves.
Not surprisingly many men feel that women aren't sufficiently skilled at handling penises. Specific complaints range from grips which are too limp, to a lack conviction and exuberance. Women seem hesitant to apply pressure, and often pull or tug at inappropriate moments; continuously disrupting the all important rhythm.
Often women have little sense of how to control the ebb and flow of orgasmic sensations. A woman’s hands are capable of amazing erotic pleasuring, much more than most anyone can imagine. It’s little appreciated that this is an acquired talent. Subtle techniques, the male genitalia as well as adjacent erotic zones must first be understood... continue to:
The male body must first be understood before it may be played in the same manner as a virtuoso commands a musical instrument. Unfortunately most women have only marginal or little understanding of the male anatomy. The inevitable ineptitude often produces sour notes. [Conversely the same can be said about men and their level of appreciation for the female body, but this is another subject entirely.]
The problem stems from the fact that male and female genitalia are entirely different from one another. Understandably, the result is that it’s difficult for a woman to know how to best touch a man. Despite the fact that a woman’s clitoris is something of counterpart to a man’s penis, stimulating each to the pinnacle of arousal involves very different techniques. This circumstance results in a host of faulty assumptions, guesswork and experimentation. While some women may mimic the techniques they might have seen in “Blue” movies, others may attempt to refer to what they’ve read in a range of publications.
Ultimately the majority simply proceed by trial and error, in the hope that their partners response will serve as a guide. The drawback with this methodology is that many men are not able to effectively communicate their desires verbally or may be embarrassed to make use of “show & tell". Quite a few men may not even be aware of the most effective techniques themselves.
Not surprisingly many men feel that women aren't sufficiently skilled at handling penises. Specific complaints range from grips which are too limp, to a lack conviction and exuberance. Women seem hesitant to apply pressure, and often pull or tug at inappropriate moments; continuously disrupting the all important rhythm.
Often women have little sense of how to control the ebb and flow of orgasmic sensations. A woman’s hands are capable of amazing erotic pleasuring, much more than most anyone can imagine. It’s little appreciated that this is an acquired talent. Subtle techniques, the male genitalia as well as adjacent erotic zones must first be understood... continue to:
MALE SEXUALITY
Most men tend to consider the third phase of the sexual response cycle, namely orgasm, to be the same as ejaculation. This is not the case, orgasm & ejaculation are in fact separate events, although they seem to occur simultaneously. It is important to note that either of these events can occur in the absence of the other.
Excitement through Plateau
Sexual desire is a complex interaction among cognitive processes, physiological mechanisms (hormones), physical well-being, and positive mood all affecting the drive toward sexual fantasy or behavior.
If a man encounters something that excites him sexually, messages are transmitted to the portion of the brain dedicated to sexual response. Many men believe that sexual arousal is always accompanied by an erection, but this is not necessarily the case at the first stage.
A number of other things happen during the early stages of sexual arousal. The brain is flooded with natural chemicals that act similarly to drugs such as cocaine. These natural chemicals, called endorphins, make the man say to himself that whatever is causing the sexual arousal is very enjoyable and should be continued. If the sexual response is the result of observing another person, the man may make an effort to meet the other person involved.
Most men will produce pre-ejaculate when anything considered to be sexually exciting occurs, perhaps even reading a sexually explicit story or watching a sexually explicit movie. There is no limit to the length of time that a man can be aroused, and throughout arousal the man can continue to produce drops of pre-ejaculate.
Erection Normally, excitement is followed by erection. An erection of the penis occurs as the spongy tissues of the penis are engorged with blood. There is one large primary artery responsible for blood flow into the penis, but several veins that drain the penis of blood. When an erection is not happening, the inflow of blood and the outflow is maintained in balance and the penis remains flaccid. During erection, blood flows into the penis and holes in the spongy tissue in the penis fill with blood. At the same time, flaps in the veins leading out of the penis enlarge, cutting off the drainage. As a result, the penis fills with blood. As more and more blood flows in than out, the penis enlarges and becomes harder. Finally, veins in the penis are compressed from the increasing pressure from the erection itself. Heart rate and blood pressure also increase, the pressure of blood into the penis increases, keeping the penis hard.
What can go wrong? Several things can happen. Those with spinal cord injuries are frequently unable to attain an erection because the nerves that control the valves in the veins and arteries have been severed. If these valves cannot be opened and closed an erection is impossible.
As a man ages, the valves (flaps) controlling the veins that must be shut off may leak a bit, and not prevent the outflow of blood. And the blood flow into the penis may be restricted. Also, as a man ages the main penis artery may fill with sludge, reducing blood inflow. Smoking may contribute to this, as it does to the buildup of sludge in other portions of the circulatory system. Alcohol use may decrease the ability of the nervous system to close off the necessary valves. This is why intoxicated men often cannot achieve and maintain an erection.
Size of the erection may be relatively unrelated to the size of the non-erect penis. Typically, those with smaller penises tend to enlarge to a greater degree when erect, so the differences in the size of the erect penis may not be that great. According to the book Man's Body, the average flaccid penis is about 3 3/4 inches long with most falling between 3 1/4 and 4 1/4 inches, though a few are outside this range. The average erect penis is 6 1/4 inches, with most between 5 and 7 inches, though a few are smaller and larger.
An article in Men's Health Magazine indicates that these data are overly optimistic, and that the average erect penis length now widely accepted by doctors is 5.1 inches. Which seems a bit short, or at least for an average number. Erect penis length varies with the degree of erection.
Past puberty, in the teen years, and perhaps during the twenties, it is possible to get a full erection without any manual stimulation at all. As men age beyond the 20s, this occurs less and less frequently and increasingly some manual manipulation of the penis is needed. As the penis becomes increasingly erect, the nerve endings located there gradually become more and more sensitive to touch. In general, the harder the penis can become, the more pleasant the sensations from the touch. Other physiological changes occur. As the erection grows, the heart and breathing rate increases. During the initial stages of arousal, before erection occurs, the testicles and scrotum feel quite large and soft, and are very sensitive to touch. Gentle pressure on the testicles with the fingertips produces particularly pleasant sensations. As the erection proceeds, the testicles change as well, increasing in size by up to 50% as they also fill with blood. They become harder and are drawn up to the body as the point of ejaculation becomes nearer and nearer.
Many men think that an erection must ordinarily proceed to an orgasm and ejaculation, but this is not necessarily so. By repeatedly massaging and then stopping the manual stimulation of the penis, a man can go through many erection cycles that do not necessary need to lead directly to orgasm. With each cycle, often the man can learn to take a bit more stimulation without ejaculating.
Research indicates that stimulation of the septum, a portion of the brain known to be a part of the limbic system, results in the feeling of an orgasm, but this stimulation produces neither an erection nor ejaculation. These findings support the theory that ejaculation and orgasm, though often linked together, are, indeed, separate events.
Learning how to achieve an erection just below the level, which leads to ejaculation is an important part of sexual enjoyment. It is important for the man to learn how to read his body's signals that orgasm and ejaculation are near. Psychologists call the point where the man is no longer able to delay orgasm the "point of inevitability". Learning how to lengthen the arousal and erection period while delaying orgasm is an important part of maximizing enjoyment from sex. As the erection proceeds, the physical sensations become increasingly more and more exciting, and the psychological pressure to ejaculate becomes more and more intense. It is essential to learn how to keep the stimulation just below the level required for ejaculation, while learning to deal with the increasing psychological pressure to ejaculate. The psychological pleasure becomes more and more intense, the longer the arousal can be maintained without ejaculation, but the greater the enjoyment for the man. Developing these skills and dealing with the psychological desire to ejaculate for as long as possible requires practice. Women usually require a somewhat longer period of time to become fully aroused, so being able to delay orgasm potentially increases the enjoyment of sex by both partners.
All of the sections of the erect penis are not equally sensitive. Thus, by varying locations being stimulated, the man can perhaps delay orgasm. Stimulation of the base of the penis, near the body, while pleasant, normally will not be sufficient to achieve orgasm. The underside of the tip of the penis, called the "frenulum", is very sensitive to manual stimulation. If this area of the erect penis is stimulated very much, an orgasm (and ejaculation) will occur almost immediately.
A significant portion of the penis, perhaps one- third to one-half of it, lies inside the body. This portion of the penis also responds to manual stimulation. It can be felt and externally massaged at a spot called the perineum area, which is directly behind the base of the scrotum. This is a little-recognized but highly sensitive area of the male body. This spot is sometimes referred to as the "second male G spot" though many men are not even aware that it is a sexually sensitive area. In addition to the possibility of externally massaging the interior portion of the erect penis, a bundle of nerves terminate here, and the main artery that is responsible for providing blood for erections runs through this area. Inside, but directly above this area lies the Cowper's glands. It is likely that external massage of this area will to a certain degree stimulate these glands.
The prostate is a little further up, but nearby. It is possible and often very pleasant to externally massage the prostate, a walnut-size gland, responsible for secreting most of the liquid contained in the semen by pressing on the perineum, or directly inside the rectum, as the gland is located only about an inch inside.
Orgasm (with and without ejaculation)
With practice, a man can learn a degree of control over the point when he proceeds to orgasm and ejaculation. Some men believe that male orgasm invariably results in ejaculation, but this is not always true. Some men have learned techniques for having multiple orgasms without ejaculating. Many of these techniques involving squeezing of the urethra such that the semen is not allowed to leave the body.
As the point of orgasm approaches, pre-ejaculate production will normally stop, and the hole in the tip of the penis becomes slit-like. The testicles become hard and are drawn up near the body in preparation. Breathing becomes heavier, and there may be involuntary contractions of major muscles (convulsions) throughout the body.
Finally, the psychological and physical pressure to ejaculate is released in a series of muscular contractions, usually about 8 major contractions spaced a second or so apart, followed perhaps by several smaller ones that can last 45 seconds or so.
Ejaculatory Force: Generally the more frequently a man has an ejaculation, the less force that ejaculation will have. If one is able to ejaculate two to three hours after his previous ejaculation, the semen just dribbles out.
Semen: There is a wide variation in semen production, but about 60 percent on average, comes from glands called the seminal vesicles, whereas 38 % comes from the prostate, with the remainder from glands such as the Cowper's.
Frequency of Ejaculation: According to a number of studies, Many post- pubescent young men report daily ejaculation, if not more frequently than that. This frequency gradually declines for most males to 2-3 time per week, which is typical of men in there forties. But there is still considerable variation among adult men of a given age.
Many men believe that it is somehow "un-masculine" to take advantage and enjoy the sexual experiences that occur prior to orgasm. They may have been taught at an early age that masturbation is somehow sinful or harmful to one's health. Orgasm and ejaculation become the focus of their partner-sex as well, rather than full enjoyment of all aspects of sexual feelings.
Once the arousal has begun, there are physical and psychological changes that take place in men. As outlined earlier, typically, an involuntary message is sent from the brain to the nerves that control a series of valves on the veins by which blood is drained from the penis. At the same time, blood continues to enter the penis through the main artery, the heartbeat rate increases, and blood pressure rises. With blood flowing in faster than it is returned, the penis starts to become erect.
When the penis is flaccid, touch seems little different than touch on any other part of the anatomy. But as erection starts to take place, the nerve endings concentrated in the penis start to become more sensitive and pleasant to the touch.
Sexual tension has started. The first sexual feelings are rather unfocused, but as arousal begins, the man's attention increasingly is focused on the sensations emanating from the groin area. Many men believe these sexual sensations occur only in the penis, but there are many other places in the groin area that are quite sensitive as well.
Equally interesting are the psychological changes that are taking place, something that few men acknowledge. At the initial stages of arousal, the man has no particular psychological "urge" to press forward to ejaculation. But as the arousal and erection continues, the psychological urge to press forward to ejaculation becomes stronger and stronger. This is the essence of building sexual tension. Psychologically, the man experiences the feeling of wanting more and more stimulation to continue and increase the intensity of the sexual feelings.
The entire experience can be likened to the winding of a "sexual" spring. Increasing stimulation causes the "sexual" spring to be wound tighter and tighter, increasing the sexual tension. These sensations are extremely pleasant, but at the same time, the unreleased tension is also described as very "frustrating" by most men. Interestingly, some men describe this as a "delicious" frustration, and many agree that it is among the best, if not the best of experiences that life has to offer. The tighter the sexual spring can be wound, the more exciting the sexual "ride" and the more "extreme" the ultimate release will be. This is a human experience not to be missed. Fully recognizing this and fully taking advantage of these sensations and psychological urges in an effort to more completely enjoy them for a longer period of time without moving directly forward to orgasm, something that most men must learn. But the results are well worth the effort, both in terms of the man's own enjoyment as well as for the benefit and enjoyment of a sexual partner.
Refractory Period
Once the orgasm is complete, the valves which had maintained the erection, are opened and the penis is drained of blood so that within a space of a few minutes it has returned to its flaccid state.
Some research has suggested that testosterone produced by the sex organs in males and the adrenal glands (on top of the kidneys) in females, has less to do with whether a man will become sexually aroused than is widely believed. Other recent research suggests that it is not testosterone, but a compound closely related to testosterone that is important. Ordinarily, after ejaculation, a man has no further interest in sexual activity of any kind. For a period of 10 minutes to perhaps more than an hour, or even days for older men. During this refractory period a man is physically unable to achieve another orgasm even if he is able to maintain erection.
The generally pleasant feelings of satiety, lack of interest in further sexual activity and sleepiness following the male orgasm (which many women do not appear to fully understand or appreciate) are primarily linked to a chemical called oxytocin that is released during orgasm.
Excitement through Plateau
Sexual desire is a complex interaction among cognitive processes, physiological mechanisms (hormones), physical well-being, and positive mood all affecting the drive toward sexual fantasy or behavior.
If a man encounters something that excites him sexually, messages are transmitted to the portion of the brain dedicated to sexual response. Many men believe that sexual arousal is always accompanied by an erection, but this is not necessarily the case at the first stage.
A number of other things happen during the early stages of sexual arousal. The brain is flooded with natural chemicals that act similarly to drugs such as cocaine. These natural chemicals, called endorphins, make the man say to himself that whatever is causing the sexual arousal is very enjoyable and should be continued. If the sexual response is the result of observing another person, the man may make an effort to meet the other person involved.
Most men will produce pre-ejaculate when anything considered to be sexually exciting occurs, perhaps even reading a sexually explicit story or watching a sexually explicit movie. There is no limit to the length of time that a man can be aroused, and throughout arousal the man can continue to produce drops of pre-ejaculate.
Erection Normally, excitement is followed by erection. An erection of the penis occurs as the spongy tissues of the penis are engorged with blood. There is one large primary artery responsible for blood flow into the penis, but several veins that drain the penis of blood. When an erection is not happening, the inflow of blood and the outflow is maintained in balance and the penis remains flaccid. During erection, blood flows into the penis and holes in the spongy tissue in the penis fill with blood. At the same time, flaps in the veins leading out of the penis enlarge, cutting off the drainage. As a result, the penis fills with blood. As more and more blood flows in than out, the penis enlarges and becomes harder. Finally, veins in the penis are compressed from the increasing pressure from the erection itself. Heart rate and blood pressure also increase, the pressure of blood into the penis increases, keeping the penis hard.
What can go wrong? Several things can happen. Those with spinal cord injuries are frequently unable to attain an erection because the nerves that control the valves in the veins and arteries have been severed. If these valves cannot be opened and closed an erection is impossible.
As a man ages, the valves (flaps) controlling the veins that must be shut off may leak a bit, and not prevent the outflow of blood. And the blood flow into the penis may be restricted. Also, as a man ages the main penis artery may fill with sludge, reducing blood inflow. Smoking may contribute to this, as it does to the buildup of sludge in other portions of the circulatory system. Alcohol use may decrease the ability of the nervous system to close off the necessary valves. This is why intoxicated men often cannot achieve and maintain an erection.
Size of the erection may be relatively unrelated to the size of the non-erect penis. Typically, those with smaller penises tend to enlarge to a greater degree when erect, so the differences in the size of the erect penis may not be that great. According to the book Man's Body, the average flaccid penis is about 3 3/4 inches long with most falling between 3 1/4 and 4 1/4 inches, though a few are outside this range. The average erect penis is 6 1/4 inches, with most between 5 and 7 inches, though a few are smaller and larger.
An article in Men's Health Magazine indicates that these data are overly optimistic, and that the average erect penis length now widely accepted by doctors is 5.1 inches. Which seems a bit short, or at least for an average number. Erect penis length varies with the degree of erection.
Past puberty, in the teen years, and perhaps during the twenties, it is possible to get a full erection without any manual stimulation at all. As men age beyond the 20s, this occurs less and less frequently and increasingly some manual manipulation of the penis is needed. As the penis becomes increasingly erect, the nerve endings located there gradually become more and more sensitive to touch. In general, the harder the penis can become, the more pleasant the sensations from the touch. Other physiological changes occur. As the erection grows, the heart and breathing rate increases. During the initial stages of arousal, before erection occurs, the testicles and scrotum feel quite large and soft, and are very sensitive to touch. Gentle pressure on the testicles with the fingertips produces particularly pleasant sensations. As the erection proceeds, the testicles change as well, increasing in size by up to 50% as they also fill with blood. They become harder and are drawn up to the body as the point of ejaculation becomes nearer and nearer.
Many men think that an erection must ordinarily proceed to an orgasm and ejaculation, but this is not necessarily so. By repeatedly massaging and then stopping the manual stimulation of the penis, a man can go through many erection cycles that do not necessary need to lead directly to orgasm. With each cycle, often the man can learn to take a bit more stimulation without ejaculating.
Research indicates that stimulation of the septum, a portion of the brain known to be a part of the limbic system, results in the feeling of an orgasm, but this stimulation produces neither an erection nor ejaculation. These findings support the theory that ejaculation and orgasm, though often linked together, are, indeed, separate events.
Learning how to achieve an erection just below the level, which leads to ejaculation is an important part of sexual enjoyment. It is important for the man to learn how to read his body's signals that orgasm and ejaculation are near. Psychologists call the point where the man is no longer able to delay orgasm the "point of inevitability". Learning how to lengthen the arousal and erection period while delaying orgasm is an important part of maximizing enjoyment from sex. As the erection proceeds, the physical sensations become increasingly more and more exciting, and the psychological pressure to ejaculate becomes more and more intense. It is essential to learn how to keep the stimulation just below the level required for ejaculation, while learning to deal with the increasing psychological pressure to ejaculate. The psychological pleasure becomes more and more intense, the longer the arousal can be maintained without ejaculation, but the greater the enjoyment for the man. Developing these skills and dealing with the psychological desire to ejaculate for as long as possible requires practice. Women usually require a somewhat longer period of time to become fully aroused, so being able to delay orgasm potentially increases the enjoyment of sex by both partners.
All of the sections of the erect penis are not equally sensitive. Thus, by varying locations being stimulated, the man can perhaps delay orgasm. Stimulation of the base of the penis, near the body, while pleasant, normally will not be sufficient to achieve orgasm. The underside of the tip of the penis, called the "frenulum", is very sensitive to manual stimulation. If this area of the erect penis is stimulated very much, an orgasm (and ejaculation) will occur almost immediately.
A significant portion of the penis, perhaps one- third to one-half of it, lies inside the body. This portion of the penis also responds to manual stimulation. It can be felt and externally massaged at a spot called the perineum area, which is directly behind the base of the scrotum. This is a little-recognized but highly sensitive area of the male body. This spot is sometimes referred to as the "second male G spot" though many men are not even aware that it is a sexually sensitive area. In addition to the possibility of externally massaging the interior portion of the erect penis, a bundle of nerves terminate here, and the main artery that is responsible for providing blood for erections runs through this area. Inside, but directly above this area lies the Cowper's glands. It is likely that external massage of this area will to a certain degree stimulate these glands.
The prostate is a little further up, but nearby. It is possible and often very pleasant to externally massage the prostate, a walnut-size gland, responsible for secreting most of the liquid contained in the semen by pressing on the perineum, or directly inside the rectum, as the gland is located only about an inch inside.
Orgasm (with and without ejaculation)
With practice, a man can learn a degree of control over the point when he proceeds to orgasm and ejaculation. Some men believe that male orgasm invariably results in ejaculation, but this is not always true. Some men have learned techniques for having multiple orgasms without ejaculating. Many of these techniques involving squeezing of the urethra such that the semen is not allowed to leave the body.
As the point of orgasm approaches, pre-ejaculate production will normally stop, and the hole in the tip of the penis becomes slit-like. The testicles become hard and are drawn up near the body in preparation. Breathing becomes heavier, and there may be involuntary contractions of major muscles (convulsions) throughout the body.
Finally, the psychological and physical pressure to ejaculate is released in a series of muscular contractions, usually about 8 major contractions spaced a second or so apart, followed perhaps by several smaller ones that can last 45 seconds or so.
Ejaculatory Force: Generally the more frequently a man has an ejaculation, the less force that ejaculation will have. If one is able to ejaculate two to three hours after his previous ejaculation, the semen just dribbles out.
Semen: There is a wide variation in semen production, but about 60 percent on average, comes from glands called the seminal vesicles, whereas 38 % comes from the prostate, with the remainder from glands such as the Cowper's.
Frequency of Ejaculation: According to a number of studies, Many post- pubescent young men report daily ejaculation, if not more frequently than that. This frequency gradually declines for most males to 2-3 time per week, which is typical of men in there forties. But there is still considerable variation among adult men of a given age.
Many men believe that it is somehow "un-masculine" to take advantage and enjoy the sexual experiences that occur prior to orgasm. They may have been taught at an early age that masturbation is somehow sinful or harmful to one's health. Orgasm and ejaculation become the focus of their partner-sex as well, rather than full enjoyment of all aspects of sexual feelings.
Once the arousal has begun, there are physical and psychological changes that take place in men. As outlined earlier, typically, an involuntary message is sent from the brain to the nerves that control a series of valves on the veins by which blood is drained from the penis. At the same time, blood continues to enter the penis through the main artery, the heartbeat rate increases, and blood pressure rises. With blood flowing in faster than it is returned, the penis starts to become erect.
When the penis is flaccid, touch seems little different than touch on any other part of the anatomy. But as erection starts to take place, the nerve endings concentrated in the penis start to become more sensitive and pleasant to the touch.
Sexual tension has started. The first sexual feelings are rather unfocused, but as arousal begins, the man's attention increasingly is focused on the sensations emanating from the groin area. Many men believe these sexual sensations occur only in the penis, but there are many other places in the groin area that are quite sensitive as well.
Equally interesting are the psychological changes that are taking place, something that few men acknowledge. At the initial stages of arousal, the man has no particular psychological "urge" to press forward to ejaculation. But as the arousal and erection continues, the psychological urge to press forward to ejaculation becomes stronger and stronger. This is the essence of building sexual tension. Psychologically, the man experiences the feeling of wanting more and more stimulation to continue and increase the intensity of the sexual feelings.
The entire experience can be likened to the winding of a "sexual" spring. Increasing stimulation causes the "sexual" spring to be wound tighter and tighter, increasing the sexual tension. These sensations are extremely pleasant, but at the same time, the unreleased tension is also described as very "frustrating" by most men. Interestingly, some men describe this as a "delicious" frustration, and many agree that it is among the best, if not the best of experiences that life has to offer. The tighter the sexual spring can be wound, the more exciting the sexual "ride" and the more "extreme" the ultimate release will be. This is a human experience not to be missed. Fully recognizing this and fully taking advantage of these sensations and psychological urges in an effort to more completely enjoy them for a longer period of time without moving directly forward to orgasm, something that most men must learn. But the results are well worth the effort, both in terms of the man's own enjoyment as well as for the benefit and enjoyment of a sexual partner.
Refractory Period
Once the orgasm is complete, the valves which had maintained the erection, are opened and the penis is drained of blood so that within a space of a few minutes it has returned to its flaccid state.
Some research has suggested that testosterone produced by the sex organs in males and the adrenal glands (on top of the kidneys) in females, has less to do with whether a man will become sexually aroused than is widely believed. Other recent research suggests that it is not testosterone, but a compound closely related to testosterone that is important. Ordinarily, after ejaculation, a man has no further interest in sexual activity of any kind. For a period of 10 minutes to perhaps more than an hour, or even days for older men. During this refractory period a man is physically unable to achieve another orgasm even if he is able to maintain erection.
The generally pleasant feelings of satiety, lack of interest in further sexual activity and sleepiness following the male orgasm (which many women do not appear to fully understand or appreciate) are primarily linked to a chemical called oxytocin that is released during orgasm.
MULTIPLE ORGASMS VERSUS EJACULAORY ORGASMS
Both begin in the same way, moving from arousal until a point near ejaculation or "point of no return". At this point a man will experience a series of genital contractions lasting three to five seconds. These contractions are "pelvic orgasms" and at first feel like a "fluttering" or mild release of pressure. Once identified and controlled, these sensations will become progressively more intense.
When approaching "the point of no return" the goal is not to crest over into ejaculation but to decrease stimulation, just long enough to gain control over the arousal rate. Effective control can be achieved by squeezing the PC muscles. Learning to control the PC muscles is essential to sexual health and stamina.
In the diagram below, the plateau stage is represented roughly as a heightened state of arousal which will eventually lead into orgasm if stimulation is allowed to continue.
Notice how the two charts differ. In a typical singular orgasm including ejaculation, the plateau phase is reached and passed fairly quickly as the orgasm subsides and ejaculation occurs. In a multiple orgasmic encounter, the plateau phase is reached and sustained after the initial orgasm and between the next orgasm. The successive orgasms are also slightly stronger than the previous ones, if and when the man decides to ejaculate with the final orgasm. Ejaculation is optional, after several orgasms it may be decided not to ejaculate at all. In which case, the arousal pattern closely follows that of a woman and gradually declines over about an hour's time instead of declining very sharply after ejaculation.
How is multiple orgasm possible?
The male and female sexual "response cycles" are strikingly similar. The primary difference between the two is male ejaculation. Multi-orgasmic women are able to have successive orgasms if stimulation is resumed shortly after the first orgasm because they do not ejaculate (not withstanding reports that some women are able to ejaculate, as this has never been adequately scientifically explained).
Ejaculation initiates the refractory period in males. During this time, most men are unable to achieve another erection or even receive further stimulation due to the loss of sexual tension and the penis is usually too sensitive to touch. Since women are not biologically programmed to ejaculate, they do not have this annoying feature and are able to learn about and achieve multiple orgasms much easier than men.
The first key to understanding how men can have multiple orgasms is to understand that orgasm and ejaculation are distinct events, which one can learn to distinguish and separate. Most men have always accepted orgasm and ejaculation as one in the same because they happen in such rapid succession, orgasm beginning slightly before (ejaculation) then tapering off during ejaculation.
The second key to navigating the path to multiple orgasm is gaining the ability to separate orgasm and ejaculation.
The ability to separate these events involves the pubococcygeal muscle, or pelvic floor muscle, or "PC muscle" as it’s more commonly known. You may know this muscle for its ability to stop the flow of urine in mid-stream. If stopping the flow is difficult, you have a weak PC muscle. If this is the case you will need to work on strengthening the PC muscle before you'll be able to have multiple orgasms. If you squeeze or contract the PC muscle you should feel like everything deep in your pelvis is being drawn upward.
Breathing Exercises
· Sit in a comfortable position relaxing the shoulders.
· Place hands on the abdomen, just below the belly button.
· Inhale deeply. Breathing deeply through the nose, so that the belly pushes out.
· Exhale fully. Exhale to a point to a point of which the belly contracts back to the spine. The pelvis and testicles may feel as if they are pulling up slightly.
· Repeat this exercise from 9 to 36 times.
Preparing yourself
Having multiple orgasms as a male is pretty remarkable, but it will take a great deal of preparation. As mentioned earlier, one of the first steps is to discover the PC muscle. It’s essential to become intimately familiar with this muscle in order to learn to control it very precisely. Some of this control will come with experience, but most will come by strengthening it through regular exercise. Once it’s been discovered where it is (most easily while urinating), it can be exercised anywhere, without anyone knowing.
Practicing
· You can begin experimenting on your own at first (while masturbating).
· Make yourself comfortable and then begin masturbating as you might normally.
· Stop just before you reach the point of no return (the point where you would ejaculate). Contract (squeeze) and hold your PC muscle for a count of ten.
· Allow yourself relax and take a few minutes break.
· Begin masturbating again, this time bringing yourself just a bit closer to the point of no return, again contracting your PC muscle.
· Continue masturbating while paying very special attention to your own state of arousal and emotional feelings. The key here is to learn more about your own sexual response so that down the road you'll be more in control of it.
Stopping "right" before ejaculation
Continue masturbating, except this time, keep going until you reach orgasm. Right as you orgasm you should notice several contractions that signal the beginning of ejaculation in the base of your penis and perhaps even deeper inside your pelvis. As these contractions begin or preferably just before (but still during the orgasm), stop all stimulation to the penis and squeeze the PC muscle tight. You'll probably feel yourself trying to ejaculate, but hold it back! Squeezing your PC muscle effectively shuts off your ejaculation, if you are successful, and erases the refractory period.
A small amount semen may seep out, but not with any of the force you might normally experience during an unrestrained singular orgasm. If you were able to hold off ejaculating after your orgasm, start masturbating again now. It should feel as though you are still very aroused, not like you just ejaculated. You should be able to continue for a short time until you have another orgasm.
If you were unable to keep from ejaculating the first time, either your PC muscle isn't strong enough yet or you squeezed it at the wrong time. If you begin squeezing too late after the ejaculatory contractions have already begun, it is nearly impossible to shut stop the process completely. With practice you will learn the timing.
Partnering
There are many possible techniques you can use to greatly increase your success in becoming multi-orgasmic. Perhaps the greatest technique you can practice is to share your experiences in becoming a multi-orgasmic man with your romantic partner. If you are eventually successful, this can be a wonderful opportunity for you to significantly increase the pleasure you both receive during lovemaking.
Overcoming problems
Undoubtedly the biggest obstacle most men will report when trying to become multi-orgasmic is failure to squeeze their PC muscle sufficiently during orgasm to ward off ejaculation. You may feel some contractions, but do not stop squeezing at this point because a few ejaculatory contractions are likely even if you are successful in eventually stopping them. If you are successful, the contractions will stop before you ejaculate and you should be able to resume stimulation without a loss of sensitivity, as would be present during the refractory period after ejaculation.
Another common problem many men may report with these techniques is failing to determine exactly where the boundaries of plateau, orgasm, and ejaculation begin and end. If you cannot determine the difference between orgasm and ejaculation, a key to becoming multi-orgasmic, you can only succeed by accident and not intentionally.
Some men may try to stimulate themselves very quickly and rigorously, and this is not the best way to become aware of your personal level of sexual awareness. Taking the stimulation slower rather than faster will allow you to discover your personal boundaries between arousal, plateau, and orgasm more easily. With these discoveries you will have a much greater chance of learning when to squeeze your PC muscle, when to stop stimulation, and when to relax your PC muscle and resume stimulation to experience another orgasm.
Pelvic pressure after arousal. Pressure in the pelvic area is a natural result of increased blood flow into the genital area. If the level of this pressure is uncomfortable, it will be helpful to breathe deeply, elevate the lower extremities and massage the perineum and testicles lightly. This will help the body assimilate the energy from the testicles to the rest of the body. It would be best also to stay in a reclined position for 5 - 10 minutes.
Other Benefits
It is quite possible that if you have other sexual problems such as premature ejaculation, learning to become multi-orgasmic will help you tremendously during lovemaking. Not only will you be able to greatly prolong the session by suppressing ejaculation until you choose, but you will be free to release your worries and anxiety and focus more on pleasing your partner. The list of positive effects can be nearly endless!
Age
Some men may wonder if age can have any effect on the chances of success in becoming multi-orgasmic. There's no reason why sexually mature men of all ages shouldn't see the same high rate of success, assuming they are sexually active and have a high level of personal sexual awareness.
If you have no trouble reaching singular orgasms either by yourself or with a partner, then learning how to become multi-orgasmic may only be a matter of patience, determination, and effort. If you do have trouble having singular orgasms or opening up sexually with yourself and your partner, however, then perhaps there are other issues that you need to deal with before multiple orgasms will be a possibility for you. This guide is not prepared to address any problems with orgasms beyond the relatively simple matters discussed in this section. If you are experiencing more serious problems, please consider consulting your healthcare provider or a therapist. They should be able to provide you with the professional advice that we are not equipped to handle.
Ancient Ideas
The concept of being a multi-orgasmic male is not new at all. Ancient Chinese philosophers called Taoists, have known about this and many other profound sexual concepts and practices thousands of years ago. Many of these sexual secrets remain surprisingly unknown, even now in the age of sexual awareness and liberation. Despite the fact that during the 1940s and 1950s several sex researchers in the West studied and confirmed the ability of males to experience multiple orgasms. Even at present, the amount of sexual ignorance, misdirection, and confusion is astonishing.
In Closing
The bottom line is that your ability to have multiple orgasms depends on your overall sexual awareness, and the strength and control of your PC muscle among many other factors. As with all noteworthy achievements, this is not something that can necessarily be accomplished all at once. While reading this guide and having multiple orgasms in one night is certainly possible, you should understand that it could take several weeks or even months before you succeed. Your results will depend on your own personal effort and determination.
* The preceding text includes certain references from Masters & Johnson
When approaching "the point of no return" the goal is not to crest over into ejaculation but to decrease stimulation, just long enough to gain control over the arousal rate. Effective control can be achieved by squeezing the PC muscles. Learning to control the PC muscles is essential to sexual health and stamina.
In the diagram below, the plateau stage is represented roughly as a heightened state of arousal which will eventually lead into orgasm if stimulation is allowed to continue.
Notice how the two charts differ. In a typical singular orgasm including ejaculation, the plateau phase is reached and passed fairly quickly as the orgasm subsides and ejaculation occurs. In a multiple orgasmic encounter, the plateau phase is reached and sustained after the initial orgasm and between the next orgasm. The successive orgasms are also slightly stronger than the previous ones, if and when the man decides to ejaculate with the final orgasm. Ejaculation is optional, after several orgasms it may be decided not to ejaculate at all. In which case, the arousal pattern closely follows that of a woman and gradually declines over about an hour's time instead of declining very sharply after ejaculation.
How is multiple orgasm possible?
The male and female sexual "response cycles" are strikingly similar. The primary difference between the two is male ejaculation. Multi-orgasmic women are able to have successive orgasms if stimulation is resumed shortly after the first orgasm because they do not ejaculate (not withstanding reports that some women are able to ejaculate, as this has never been adequately scientifically explained).
Ejaculation initiates the refractory period in males. During this time, most men are unable to achieve another erection or even receive further stimulation due to the loss of sexual tension and the penis is usually too sensitive to touch. Since women are not biologically programmed to ejaculate, they do not have this annoying feature and are able to learn about and achieve multiple orgasms much easier than men.
The first key to understanding how men can have multiple orgasms is to understand that orgasm and ejaculation are distinct events, which one can learn to distinguish and separate. Most men have always accepted orgasm and ejaculation as one in the same because they happen in such rapid succession, orgasm beginning slightly before (ejaculation) then tapering off during ejaculation.
The second key to navigating the path to multiple orgasm is gaining the ability to separate orgasm and ejaculation.
The ability to separate these events involves the pubococcygeal muscle, or pelvic floor muscle, or "PC muscle" as it’s more commonly known. You may know this muscle for its ability to stop the flow of urine in mid-stream. If stopping the flow is difficult, you have a weak PC muscle. If this is the case you will need to work on strengthening the PC muscle before you'll be able to have multiple orgasms. If you squeeze or contract the PC muscle you should feel like everything deep in your pelvis is being drawn upward.
Breathing Exercises
· Sit in a comfortable position relaxing the shoulders.
· Place hands on the abdomen, just below the belly button.
· Inhale deeply. Breathing deeply through the nose, so that the belly pushes out.
· Exhale fully. Exhale to a point to a point of which the belly contracts back to the spine. The pelvis and testicles may feel as if they are pulling up slightly.
· Repeat this exercise from 9 to 36 times.
Preparing yourself
Having multiple orgasms as a male is pretty remarkable, but it will take a great deal of preparation. As mentioned earlier, one of the first steps is to discover the PC muscle. It’s essential to become intimately familiar with this muscle in order to learn to control it very precisely. Some of this control will come with experience, but most will come by strengthening it through regular exercise. Once it’s been discovered where it is (most easily while urinating), it can be exercised anywhere, without anyone knowing.
Practicing
· You can begin experimenting on your own at first (while masturbating).
· Make yourself comfortable and then begin masturbating as you might normally.
· Stop just before you reach the point of no return (the point where you would ejaculate). Contract (squeeze) and hold your PC muscle for a count of ten.
· Allow yourself relax and take a few minutes break.
· Begin masturbating again, this time bringing yourself just a bit closer to the point of no return, again contracting your PC muscle.
· Continue masturbating while paying very special attention to your own state of arousal and emotional feelings. The key here is to learn more about your own sexual response so that down the road you'll be more in control of it.
Stopping "right" before ejaculation
Continue masturbating, except this time, keep going until you reach orgasm. Right as you orgasm you should notice several contractions that signal the beginning of ejaculation in the base of your penis and perhaps even deeper inside your pelvis. As these contractions begin or preferably just before (but still during the orgasm), stop all stimulation to the penis and squeeze the PC muscle tight. You'll probably feel yourself trying to ejaculate, but hold it back! Squeezing your PC muscle effectively shuts off your ejaculation, if you are successful, and erases the refractory period.
A small amount semen may seep out, but not with any of the force you might normally experience during an unrestrained singular orgasm. If you were able to hold off ejaculating after your orgasm, start masturbating again now. It should feel as though you are still very aroused, not like you just ejaculated. You should be able to continue for a short time until you have another orgasm.
If you were unable to keep from ejaculating the first time, either your PC muscle isn't strong enough yet or you squeezed it at the wrong time. If you begin squeezing too late after the ejaculatory contractions have already begun, it is nearly impossible to shut stop the process completely. With practice you will learn the timing.
Partnering
There are many possible techniques you can use to greatly increase your success in becoming multi-orgasmic. Perhaps the greatest technique you can practice is to share your experiences in becoming a multi-orgasmic man with your romantic partner. If you are eventually successful, this can be a wonderful opportunity for you to significantly increase the pleasure you both receive during lovemaking.
Overcoming problems
Undoubtedly the biggest obstacle most men will report when trying to become multi-orgasmic is failure to squeeze their PC muscle sufficiently during orgasm to ward off ejaculation. You may feel some contractions, but do not stop squeezing at this point because a few ejaculatory contractions are likely even if you are successful in eventually stopping them. If you are successful, the contractions will stop before you ejaculate and you should be able to resume stimulation without a loss of sensitivity, as would be present during the refractory period after ejaculation.
Another common problem many men may report with these techniques is failing to determine exactly where the boundaries of plateau, orgasm, and ejaculation begin and end. If you cannot determine the difference between orgasm and ejaculation, a key to becoming multi-orgasmic, you can only succeed by accident and not intentionally.
Some men may try to stimulate themselves very quickly and rigorously, and this is not the best way to become aware of your personal level of sexual awareness. Taking the stimulation slower rather than faster will allow you to discover your personal boundaries between arousal, plateau, and orgasm more easily. With these discoveries you will have a much greater chance of learning when to squeeze your PC muscle, when to stop stimulation, and when to relax your PC muscle and resume stimulation to experience another orgasm.
Pelvic pressure after arousal. Pressure in the pelvic area is a natural result of increased blood flow into the genital area. If the level of this pressure is uncomfortable, it will be helpful to breathe deeply, elevate the lower extremities and massage the perineum and testicles lightly. This will help the body assimilate the energy from the testicles to the rest of the body. It would be best also to stay in a reclined position for 5 - 10 minutes.
Other Benefits
It is quite possible that if you have other sexual problems such as premature ejaculation, learning to become multi-orgasmic will help you tremendously during lovemaking. Not only will you be able to greatly prolong the session by suppressing ejaculation until you choose, but you will be free to release your worries and anxiety and focus more on pleasing your partner. The list of positive effects can be nearly endless!
Age
Some men may wonder if age can have any effect on the chances of success in becoming multi-orgasmic. There's no reason why sexually mature men of all ages shouldn't see the same high rate of success, assuming they are sexually active and have a high level of personal sexual awareness.
If you have no trouble reaching singular orgasms either by yourself or with a partner, then learning how to become multi-orgasmic may only be a matter of patience, determination, and effort. If you do have trouble having singular orgasms or opening up sexually with yourself and your partner, however, then perhaps there are other issues that you need to deal with before multiple orgasms will be a possibility for you. This guide is not prepared to address any problems with orgasms beyond the relatively simple matters discussed in this section. If you are experiencing more serious problems, please consider consulting your healthcare provider or a therapist. They should be able to provide you with the professional advice that we are not equipped to handle.
Ancient Ideas
The concept of being a multi-orgasmic male is not new at all. Ancient Chinese philosophers called Taoists, have known about this and many other profound sexual concepts and practices thousands of years ago. Many of these sexual secrets remain surprisingly unknown, even now in the age of sexual awareness and liberation. Despite the fact that during the 1940s and 1950s several sex researchers in the West studied and confirmed the ability of males to experience multiple orgasms. Even at present, the amount of sexual ignorance, misdirection, and confusion is astonishing.
In Closing
The bottom line is that your ability to have multiple orgasms depends on your overall sexual awareness, and the strength and control of your PC muscle among many other factors. As with all noteworthy achievements, this is not something that can necessarily be accomplished all at once. While reading this guide and having multiple orgasms in one night is certainly possible, you should understand that it could take several weeks or even months before you succeed. Your results will depend on your own personal effort and determination.
* The preceding text includes certain references from Masters & Johnson
MASSAGE SPA REV'S
There are essentially three massage spa classifications to be found in NYC: Asian (Korean or Chinese), Hispanic, and Eastern European.
Among these the Korean has the most long standing heritage. As a result Korean Spas, with few exceptions, are the most appealing. Many of these spas are well designed and nicely decorated. The staff however, is often linguistically challenged. The masseuse may speak only very marginal English, which often precludes the possibility of any meaningful dialog.
It's difficult to quantify a massage spa experience, keeping in mind that the needs and expectations of those who might be considering a visit to a spa will vary widely. The level of satisfaction will be a matter of what is most essential to the visitor. Hopefully these individual ratings provided to us courtesy of nycredbook.com will help to at least create a basic foundation for choosing a prospective establishment.
Name of Spa
Ethnicity
Experience
Rating
Experience
Rating
Yeppi Spa
Korean
Ambiance
B
Mood music
D
East 10th Street 2nd Fl.
Cheerful
B
Sensual Feeling
A
NYC
Cleanliness
A
Massage Talent
B
Tel. 212-253-5767
Quiet space
D
Uplifting experience
A
Big Tree Spa
Korean
Ambiance
B
Mood music
D
410 8th Ave. 3rd. Floor
Cheerful
C
Sensual Feeling
C
NYC
Cleanliness
A
Massage Talent
B
Tel: 212-594-8248
Quiet space
D
Uplifting experience
B
Asian Dove
Korean
Ambiance
C
Mood music
C
62 West 22nd St. 2nd Floor
Cheerful
C
Sensual Feeling
A
NYC
Cleanliness
C
Massage Talent
C
Tel. 212-255-2760
Quiet space
D
Uplifting experience
A
Spa on the Green
Korean
Ambiance
A
Mood music
A
14 th Street 2nd. Floor
Cheerful
C
Sensual Feeling
D
NYC
Cleanliness
A
Massage Talent
C
Tel: 212-675-5550
Quiet space
D
Uplifting experience
C
Secaucus Massage
Korean
Ambiance
D
Mood music
C
Route 3 East
Cheerful
C
Sensual Feeling
D
Secaucus, NJ
Cleanliness
C
Massage Talent
D
Tel: 201-553-9113
Quiet space
D
Uplifting experience
D
Aromatherapy Studio
Korean
Ambiance
D
Mood music
D
Bloomfield Ave. 2nd. Fl.
Cheerful
C
Sensual Feeling
D
Montclair, NJ
Cleanliness
C
Massage Talent
D
Tel: 973-783-5313
Quiet space
D
Uplifting experience
D
X-Hale Spa
Hispanic
Ambiance
C
Mood music
C
127 Pine Street 2nd. Fl.
Cheerful
F
Sensual Feeling
C
Montclair, NJ
Cleanliness
D
Massage Talent
C
Tel: 973-509-9557
Quiet space
C
Uplifting experience
D
Bodies in Balance
Hispanic
Ambiance
C
Mood music
C
256 Liberty Street
Cheerful
D
Sensual Feeling
D
Bloomfield, NJ
Cleanliness
C
Massage Talent
C
Tel: 973-429-0064
Quiet space
D
Uplifting experience
D
Bello Spa
Mixed
Ambiance
C
Mood music
C
55 B River Road
Cheerful
C
Sensual Feeling
C
Bogota, NJ
Cleanliness
D
Massage Talent
D
Tel: 201-498-0022
Quiet space
D
Uplifting experience
D
Rating Key
A = Superior
B = Good
C = Fair
D = Subpar
F = Failing
Any man can become "multi-orgasmic". It only requires a basic understanding of male sexuality and certain techniques. Most men’s sexuality is focused on the goal of ejaculating, rather than on the actual process of lovemaking. Once a man becomes multi-orgasmic he will not only be able to better satisfy himself, but also more effectively satisfy his partner.
Technically, multiple orgasms occur in succession, without complete loss of sexual arousal in between. Women are blessed with the ability to have multiple orgasms. Not many are aware that men with proper training, can actually do the same. In the case of women, multiple orgasm means resuming sexual stimulation shortly after a first orgasmic climax, usually immediately or within a few minutes, so that a second climax may be reached. If the woman does indeed experience further climaxes during the same sexual encounter, she is said to be multi-orgasmic.
Most men mistakenly believe that being able to regain their erection as soon as possible after ejaculation and reaching another climax within some arbitrary period of time qualifies as being multi-orgasmic. This is false because the true multi-orgasmic male does not lose his erection between orgasms. Multiple male orgasms include only orgasm and not ejaculation. The only exception being, when ejaculation accompanies the final orgasm in a multi-orgasmic experience.
Before continuing it would be important to better understand the technical process involved in the " Sexual Arousal Cycle" *
1. Excitement Phase
· Vasocongestion
· Erection
· Increased heart rate
· Partial testicular elevation and size increase (Tumescence)
· Nipple erection
2. Plateau Phase
· Further increase in penis tip size and testicles
· Full testicular elevation
· Purple hue on corona (although not always)
· Cowper’s gland (pre-cum) secretions
· Hyperventilation
3. Orgasm Phase (Consists of Emission & Ejaculation)
Emission
· Sperm and fluid are expelled from the vas deferens, seminal vesicles and prostate gland, causing seminal fluid fluid to collect at the base of the urethral bulb near the prostate.
· Myotonia – muscular rigidity just before the release tension
· Blood pressure and respiratory rate increase further.
Ejaculatory Inevitability (point of no return) There is a consciousness of imminent ejaculation.
Ejaculation
· Bladder sphincter closes tightly
· Rhythmic contractions of the prostate, perinial muscles and penile shaft propel semen outward.
· A slight clouding of consciousness
4. Resolution Phase
· Erection loss
· Testes descend and scrotum thins
· Reversal in myotonia and vasocongestion Reduced heart rate and lowered blood pressure
YONI(VAGINA)MASSAGE
Yoni is the Sanskrit word for the vagina that is loosely translated as "sacred space" or "Sacred Temple." In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of love and respect. This is particularly important for men to learn.
Before beginning the Yoni Massage it is important to create a space for the woman (the receiver) in which to relax, from which she can more easily enter a state of high arousal and experience great pleasure from her Yoni. Her partner (the giver) will experience the joy of giving pleasure and witnessing a special moment. The Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of "safe sex" and is an excellent activity to build trust and intimacy. Some massage and sex therapists use it to assist women to break through sexual blocks or trauma.
The goal of the Yoni massage is not solely to achieve orgasm, although orgasm is often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal can be as simple as to pleasure and massage the Yoni. From this perspective both receiver and giver can relax, and do not have to worry about achieving any particular goal. When orgasm does occur it is usually more expanded, more intense and more satisfying. It is also helpful for the giver to not expect anything in return, but simply allow the receiver to enjoy the massage and to relax into herself.
The Massage
Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her hips. Her legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly exposed for the massage. This position allows full access to the Yoni and other parts of the body. Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Both giver and receiver should remember to breathe deeply, slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver will gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver stops or begins to take shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not hyperventilating, is most important.
Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to encourage the receiver to relax and for the giver to prepare for touching her Yoni. Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil or lubricant on the mound of the Yoni. Pour just enough so that it drips down the outer lips and covers the outside of the Yoni. Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni. Spend time here and do not rush. Relax and enjoy giving the massage.
Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the same to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your time. It is helpful for giver and receiver to look into each other's eyes as much as possible. The receiver should tell the giver if the pressure, speed, depth, etc. need to be increased or decreased. Limit your conversation and focus on the pleasurable sensation, too much talking will diminish the effect.
The Crown Jewel
The clitoris is an amazingly complex structure, similar in function to the male's glans, but surprisingly - up to four times more sensitive. The glans portion of the clitoris holds 6,000 - 8,000 sensory nerve endings, more than any other structure in the human body. This hypersensitive node has only one purpose: pleasure. Nothing exceeds its ability to receive and transmit sensations of touch, pressure or vibration. The glans are the "crown jewel" of the clitoral system!
Stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do this as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver will undoubtedly become very aroused but continue to encourage her to relax and breathe.
Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for using the right hand as opposed to the left. It has to do with polarity in Tantra). Very gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni with this finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up, down and sideways. Vary the depth, speed and pressure. It is important to remember that this is a massage in which you are nurturing and relaxing the Yoni. With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni, move the middle finger in a "come here" gesture or crook back towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or in Tantra, "the sacred spot". She may feel the need to urinate, experience a little discomfort or most hopefully pleasure. Vary the pressure, speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to side, back and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You can also insert the finger that's between your middle finger and pinky.
Most women should have no problem and will enjoy the increased stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be very gentle. You may use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate the clitoris as well. An option to try if the receiver wants it is to insert the pinky of the right hand into her anus. [In Tantra, it is said that when your pinky is gently massaging her anus, the next finger and middle finger in her Yoni and your thumb on her clitoris, "You are holding one of the mysteries of the universe in your hand."]
You can use your left hand to massage her breasts, abdomen, or clitoris. If you massage the clitoris it's usually best to use the thumb in an up down motion, with the rest of the hand resting on, and massaging the mound. The dual stimulation of right and left hands will provide much pleasure for the receiver. Continue massaging, using varying speed, pressure and motion, all the while continuing to breathe deeply and looking into each other's eyes. She may have powerful emotions come up and may cry. Just keep breathing and be gentle. Some women have been sexually abused and need to be healed. A giving, loving and patient partner can be of immeasurable value to her. If she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging if she wants. More orgasms may occur, each gaining in intensity. In Tantra this is called "riding the wave."
In ending the massage, slowly, gently, and with respect, remove your hands. Allow her to relax and enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is very soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage your sex life will be greatly enriched and you will learn a great deal about feminine sexuality.
Before beginning the Yoni Massage it is important to create a space for the woman (the receiver) in which to relax, from which she can more easily enter a state of high arousal and experience great pleasure from her Yoni. Her partner (the giver) will experience the joy of giving pleasure and witnessing a special moment. The Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of "safe sex" and is an excellent activity to build trust and intimacy. Some massage and sex therapists use it to assist women to break through sexual blocks or trauma.
The goal of the Yoni massage is not solely to achieve orgasm, although orgasm is often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal can be as simple as to pleasure and massage the Yoni. From this perspective both receiver and giver can relax, and do not have to worry about achieving any particular goal. When orgasm does occur it is usually more expanded, more intense and more satisfying. It is also helpful for the giver to not expect anything in return, but simply allow the receiver to enjoy the massage and to relax into herself.
The Massage
Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her hips. Her legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly exposed for the massage. This position allows full access to the Yoni and other parts of the body. Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Both giver and receiver should remember to breathe deeply, slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver will gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver stops or begins to take shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not hyperventilating, is most important.
Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to encourage the receiver to relax and for the giver to prepare for touching her Yoni. Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil or lubricant on the mound of the Yoni. Pour just enough so that it drips down the outer lips and covers the outside of the Yoni. Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni. Spend time here and do not rush. Relax and enjoy giving the massage.
Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the same to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your time. It is helpful for giver and receiver to look into each other's eyes as much as possible. The receiver should tell the giver if the pressure, speed, depth, etc. need to be increased or decreased. Limit your conversation and focus on the pleasurable sensation, too much talking will diminish the effect.
The Crown Jewel
The clitoris is an amazingly complex structure, similar in function to the male's glans, but surprisingly - up to four times more sensitive. The glans portion of the clitoris holds 6,000 - 8,000 sensory nerve endings, more than any other structure in the human body. This hypersensitive node has only one purpose: pleasure. Nothing exceeds its ability to receive and transmit sensations of touch, pressure or vibration. The glans are the "crown jewel" of the clitoral system!
Stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do this as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver will undoubtedly become very aroused but continue to encourage her to relax and breathe.
Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for using the right hand as opposed to the left. It has to do with polarity in Tantra). Very gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni with this finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up, down and sideways. Vary the depth, speed and pressure. It is important to remember that this is a massage in which you are nurturing and relaxing the Yoni. With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni, move the middle finger in a "come here" gesture or crook back towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or in Tantra, "the sacred spot". She may feel the need to urinate, experience a little discomfort or most hopefully pleasure. Vary the pressure, speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to side, back and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You can also insert the finger that's between your middle finger and pinky.
Most women should have no problem and will enjoy the increased stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be very gentle. You may use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate the clitoris as well. An option to try if the receiver wants it is to insert the pinky of the right hand into her anus. [In Tantra, it is said that when your pinky is gently massaging her anus, the next finger and middle finger in her Yoni and your thumb on her clitoris, "You are holding one of the mysteries of the universe in your hand."]
You can use your left hand to massage her breasts, abdomen, or clitoris. If you massage the clitoris it's usually best to use the thumb in an up down motion, with the rest of the hand resting on, and massaging the mound. The dual stimulation of right and left hands will provide much pleasure for the receiver. Continue massaging, using varying speed, pressure and motion, all the while continuing to breathe deeply and looking into each other's eyes. She may have powerful emotions come up and may cry. Just keep breathing and be gentle. Some women have been sexually abused and need to be healed. A giving, loving and patient partner can be of immeasurable value to her. If she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging if she wants. More orgasms may occur, each gaining in intensity. In Tantra this is called "riding the wave."
In ending the massage, slowly, gently, and with respect, remove your hands. Allow her to relax and enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is very soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage your sex life will be greatly enriched and you will learn a great deal about feminine sexuality.
SACRED SPOT
Find and massage the male Sacred Spot. There is a small indentation about the size of a pea or maybe larger midway between the testicles and anus. Be gentle and push inward. He will feel the pressure deep inside and it may be uncomfortable at first. Eventually, as this area is worked on and softened, he will be able to expand his orgasms and master ejaculatory control. You can massage his Lingam with your right hand and massage his Sacred Spot with your left hand.
Try pushing in on this spot when he nears ejaculation. The man may have strong emotions come up during access to the Sacred Spot. Be the best friend and healer he could have in that moment. You, the giver, are creating a place of trust and intimacy.
Ending the Massage
When he feels complete (with the massage), gently remove your hands cover him and keep him warm. Most importantly, allow him to rest quietly for at least five to ten minutes.
Try pushing in on this spot when he nears ejaculation. The man may have strong emotions come up during access to the Sacred Spot. Be the best friend and healer he could have in that moment. You, the giver, are creating a place of trust and intimacy.
Ending the Massage
When he feels complete (with the massage), gently remove your hands cover him and keep him warm. Most importantly, allow him to rest quietly for at least five to ten minutes.
BEGINING OF THE SESSION
Have the receiver lie on his back with pillows under his head so he can look up at his partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under his hips. His legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and his genitals clearly exposed for the massage. Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, chest, nipples, etc., to get the receiver to relax. Remind the receiver to breathe deeply and to sink deeper into relaxation.
Pour a small quantity of oil on the shaft of the Lingam and testicles. Begin gently massaging the testicles, taking care to not cause pain in this sensitive area. Massage the scrotum gently, causing it to relax. Massage the area above the Lingam, on the pubic bone. Massage the Perineum, the area between the testicles and anus. Take time when massaging the shaft of the Lingam. Vary the speed and pressure. Gently squeeze the Lingam at the base with your right hand, pull up and slide off, then alternate with your left hand. Take your time doing this, right, left, right, left, etc. Then, change the direction by starting the squeeze at the head of the Lingam and then sliding down and off. Again, alternate with right and left hands.
Massage the head of the Lingam as if you are using an orange juicer. Massage all around the head and shaft. In Tantra there are many nerve endings on the Lingam that correspond to other parts of the body. It is believed that many ailments may be cured by a good Lingam massage. The Lingam may or may not go soft as you perform this technique. Do not worry if it doesn't get hard again. You will probably find that it will get hard, then go soft, get hard again, etc., which is a highly desirable Tantric experience, like riding a wave, bobbing up and down. Hardness and softness are two ends of the pleasure spectrum.
If it appears that the receiver is going to ejaculate, back off, allowing the Lingam to soften a little before resuming the massage. Do this several times, coming close to ejaculation, and then backing off. It is important to remember that the goal is not orgasm in and of itself. Men can learn the art of ejaculatory mastery and control by coming close to ejaculation and then backing off on the stimulation. Deep breathing is key here and will soften the urge to ejaculate. Eventually ejaculatory mastery will allow you to make love as long as you want and you can become multi-orgasmic without losing a drop of semen. Orgasm and ejaculation are two different responses that you can learn to separate. The result is a very expanded sex life.
Pour a small quantity of oil on the shaft of the Lingam and testicles. Begin gently massaging the testicles, taking care to not cause pain in this sensitive area. Massage the scrotum gently, causing it to relax. Massage the area above the Lingam, on the pubic bone. Massage the Perineum, the area between the testicles and anus. Take time when massaging the shaft of the Lingam. Vary the speed and pressure. Gently squeeze the Lingam at the base with your right hand, pull up and slide off, then alternate with your left hand. Take your time doing this, right, left, right, left, etc. Then, change the direction by starting the squeeze at the head of the Lingam and then sliding down and off. Again, alternate with right and left hands.
Massage the head of the Lingam as if you are using an orange juicer. Massage all around the head and shaft. In Tantra there are many nerve endings on the Lingam that correspond to other parts of the body. It is believed that many ailments may be cured by a good Lingam massage. The Lingam may or may not go soft as you perform this technique. Do not worry if it doesn't get hard again. You will probably find that it will get hard, then go soft, get hard again, etc., which is a highly desirable Tantric experience, like riding a wave, bobbing up and down. Hardness and softness are two ends of the pleasure spectrum.
If it appears that the receiver is going to ejaculate, back off, allowing the Lingam to soften a little before resuming the massage. Do this several times, coming close to ejaculation, and then backing off. It is important to remember that the goal is not orgasm in and of itself. Men can learn the art of ejaculatory mastery and control by coming close to ejaculation and then backing off on the stimulation. Deep breathing is key here and will soften the urge to ejaculate. Eventually ejaculatory mastery will allow you to make love as long as you want and you can become multi-orgasmic without losing a drop of semen. Orgasm and ejaculation are two different responses that you can learn to separate. The result is a very expanded sex life.
LINGAM MASSAGE
The Sanskrit word for the male sexual organ is Lingam and is loosely translated as "Wand of Light." In Tantra or Sacred Sexuality, the Lingam is respectfully viewed and honored, as a "Wand of Light" that channels creative energy and pleasure.
Orgasm is not the goal of the Lingam massage although it can be a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is to massage the Lingam, also including testicles, perineum and Sacred Spot (prostate) externally, allowing the man to surrender to a form of pleasure he may not be accustomed to. From this perspective both receiver and giver relax into the massage.
Men need to learn to relax and receive. Traditional sexual conditioning has the man in a doing and goal oriented mode. The Lingam Massage allows the man to experience his softer, more receptive side and experience pleasure from a non-traditional perspective.
Orgasm is not the goal of the Lingam massage although it can be a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is to massage the Lingam, also including testicles, perineum and Sacred Spot (prostate) externally, allowing the man to surrender to a form of pleasure he may not be accustomed to. From this perspective both receiver and giver relax into the massage.
Men need to learn to relax and receive. Traditional sexual conditioning has the man in a doing and goal oriented mode. The Lingam Massage allows the man to experience his softer, more receptive side and experience pleasure from a non-traditional perspective.
TANTRIK MASSAGE
The Tantric massage will make you feel as if you are in a trance, where physical boundaries dissolve, time disappears, worries and problems no longer seem important, or are forgotten altogether.
We will begin by having you recline on your back with pillows under your head and a towel covered pillow supporting your hips. Your legs will be slightly apart, your knees just a little bent. Your abdomen, thighs, feet, toes, chest, nipples and fingers are then gently massaged with warm aromatic oil. Nothing will escape attention. Your energy flow is stimulated and senses awakened as your body's sensitivity increases. According to Tantric ideals, your entire body will be massaged, including those particularly sensitive areas [for a more detailed explanation, click on "Lingam" or "Yoni" massage below].
Perceptions of sensuality and lust are located here, but these "intimate" areas are an important source of joy in life. You will feel relaxed, yet wide awake. You will be coached to breathe properly, as you sink into yet deeper level of relaxation. In this very loving ceremony you will be completely nurtured and pampered in the arms of your goddess, giving you a feeling of comfort and sense of well-being.
We will begin by having you recline on your back with pillows under your head and a towel covered pillow supporting your hips. Your legs will be slightly apart, your knees just a little bent. Your abdomen, thighs, feet, toes, chest, nipples and fingers are then gently massaged with warm aromatic oil. Nothing will escape attention. Your energy flow is stimulated and senses awakened as your body's sensitivity increases. According to Tantric ideals, your entire body will be massaged, including those particularly sensitive areas [for a more detailed explanation, click on "Lingam" or "Yoni" massage below].
Perceptions of sensuality and lust are located here, but these "intimate" areas are an important source of joy in life. You will feel relaxed, yet wide awake. You will be coached to breathe properly, as you sink into yet deeper level of relaxation. In this very loving ceremony you will be completely nurtured and pampered in the arms of your goddess, giving you a feeling of comfort and sense of well-being.
BATH CEREMONY
The warm water will melt away your stress and relieve your anxiety. In time you will begin to think only of the sacred space you and your Tantrica will soon be sharing. You will begin to feel reborn...as your newly invigorated body is gently dried with fluffy warm towels, knowing that you are only beginning your adventure.
SESSION PREPARATION
Preparing for your session (for the benefit of our Male students).
Spiritual, mental and physical preparation is a key component of Tantra. The experience will be greatly enhanced if you enter the session with an open heart, conscious awareness and an available body. Whether consciously or unconsciously, that preparation begins even before your scheduled appointment.
New students in particular, should establish a clear intention for the impending Tantric session. It’s important to remember that the path of Tantra is both both spiritual as well as sensual. Tantra explores our sexuality and sensuality as a conscious meditation. The act of setting your intention will create an opening for the session to unfold naturally and in harmony with the physical, erotic and cosmic energies contained within you.
You will want to prepare your mind, body and spirit for the experience. For a first-time receiver, the act of opening all parts of your body – including the most sacred areas – to exploration and stimulation can be a life-changing experience.
The following techniques will help you create the quality of openness required to achieve the highest levels of sexual and spiritual fulfillment:
Anticipatory Contemplation
Prior to your scheduled session you should spend a few moments each day in anticipatory, conscious contemplation of the experience. While in meditation, feel the presence of the goddess in your midst, opening your heart to the experience. In a seated position and with your arms relaxed at your side, visualize the hand of your goddess gently resting upon various parts of your body, beginning with your back. Allow the hand to then move to your naked buttocks. As you become comfortable with that sensation, visualize your goddess placing a finger gently, yet firmly, upon your anus (the rosebud). Remain with that image for at least two minutes, before moving to the next visualization. This time, visualize the hand of the receiver upon your lingam. Again, sit with that image for a moment. You may become sexually aroused, but resist the urge to move your arms from your side. Remember that this is a visualization exercise. Simply sit with the image as your spirit releases sexual blockages and opens to the sensual mysteries of the universe.
Chakra Balancing
It can be also helpful to spend at least five to ten minutes each day releasing your Heart, Root and Sacral Chakras. This exercise is best done nude in a standing position. Begin by placing your left hand on your Heart Chakra allowing yourself to open to the love and intimacy. Once your heart has released, place your right hand upon your Root Chakra (between the root of the lingam and anus). Remain there for at least three minutes before moving your right hand to your lingam, awakening the Sacral Chakra, which addresses sexuality. It is sometimes helpful to gently rock the lingam as you awaken this chakra. Allow your hand to remain there for at least five minutes. As with the visualization exercise, you might find yourself sexually aroused. Welcome the arousal and continue to firmly clasp your genitals, but resist the urge to manipulate the lingam. Remember, the goal is not to provoke orgasm, but rather to awaken the Chakra and move the energy through your body.
Physical Preparation
Many men benefit from practicing their PC muscle (for men) exercises. These exercises strengthen and heighten sensitivity of the lingam as well as the anus.
Mental Preparation
It is quite natural for the first-time receiver to experience nervousness prior to the session. Know that this nervousness will pass once you enter our sacred space. Perhaps the most important final step you will take in preparation will occur the moment before you knock on the door. Pause, close your eyes, and take three cleansing breaths. Then knock. When the door opens, gaze into the eyes of the goddess greeting you, knowing that the experience you are about to receive will bring you to new levels of physical, sexual, emotional and spiritual awakening. It will be an experience you will not forget.
Spiritual, mental and physical preparation is a key component of Tantra. The experience will be greatly enhanced if you enter the session with an open heart, conscious awareness and an available body. Whether consciously or unconsciously, that preparation begins even before your scheduled appointment.
New students in particular, should establish a clear intention for the impending Tantric session. It’s important to remember that the path of Tantra is both both spiritual as well as sensual. Tantra explores our sexuality and sensuality as a conscious meditation. The act of setting your intention will create an opening for the session to unfold naturally and in harmony with the physical, erotic and cosmic energies contained within you.
You will want to prepare your mind, body and spirit for the experience. For a first-time receiver, the act of opening all parts of your body – including the most sacred areas – to exploration and stimulation can be a life-changing experience.
The following techniques will help you create the quality of openness required to achieve the highest levels of sexual and spiritual fulfillment:
Anticipatory Contemplation
Prior to your scheduled session you should spend a few moments each day in anticipatory, conscious contemplation of the experience. While in meditation, feel the presence of the goddess in your midst, opening your heart to the experience. In a seated position and with your arms relaxed at your side, visualize the hand of your goddess gently resting upon various parts of your body, beginning with your back. Allow the hand to then move to your naked buttocks. As you become comfortable with that sensation, visualize your goddess placing a finger gently, yet firmly, upon your anus (the rosebud). Remain with that image for at least two minutes, before moving to the next visualization. This time, visualize the hand of the receiver upon your lingam. Again, sit with that image for a moment. You may become sexually aroused, but resist the urge to move your arms from your side. Remember that this is a visualization exercise. Simply sit with the image as your spirit releases sexual blockages and opens to the sensual mysteries of the universe.
Chakra Balancing
It can be also helpful to spend at least five to ten minutes each day releasing your Heart, Root and Sacral Chakras. This exercise is best done nude in a standing position. Begin by placing your left hand on your Heart Chakra allowing yourself to open to the love and intimacy. Once your heart has released, place your right hand upon your Root Chakra (between the root of the lingam and anus). Remain there for at least three minutes before moving your right hand to your lingam, awakening the Sacral Chakra, which addresses sexuality. It is sometimes helpful to gently rock the lingam as you awaken this chakra. Allow your hand to remain there for at least five minutes. As with the visualization exercise, you might find yourself sexually aroused. Welcome the arousal and continue to firmly clasp your genitals, but resist the urge to manipulate the lingam. Remember, the goal is not to provoke orgasm, but rather to awaken the Chakra and move the energy through your body.
Physical Preparation
Many men benefit from practicing their PC muscle (for men) exercises. These exercises strengthen and heighten sensitivity of the lingam as well as the anus.
Mental Preparation
It is quite natural for the first-time receiver to experience nervousness prior to the session. Know that this nervousness will pass once you enter our sacred space. Perhaps the most important final step you will take in preparation will occur the moment before you knock on the door. Pause, close your eyes, and take three cleansing breaths. Then knock. When the door opens, gaze into the eyes of the goddess greeting you, knowing that the experience you are about to receive will bring you to new levels of physical, sexual, emotional and spiritual awakening. It will be an experience you will not forget.
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